Few British sitcoms have stood the test of time quite like Only Fools and Horses. Running from 1981 to 2003, this legendary comedy follows the misadventures of Derek “Del Boy” Trotter, his younger brother Rodney, Grandad, Uncle Albert, and a cast of unforgettable side characters. The show is packed with witty one-liners, hilarious misunderstandings, and cheeky cockney charm.
Del Boy’s Legendary One-Liners
- “This time next year, we’ll be millionaires!”
- “He who dares, wins!”
- “You plonker!”
- “Lovely jubbly!”
- “Cushty!”
- “You know it makes sense.”
- “The world is your lobster.”
- “Play it cool, Trig, play it cool.”
- “No income tax, no VAT, no money back, no guarantee!”
- “Don’t worry, Rodney, it’ll all come good.”
Rodney’s Sharp (and Often Unlucky) Quotes
- “You’re unbelievable, Del.”
- “Why do I always get the dirty jobs?”
- “We’re not exactly the Rockefeller brothers, are we?”
- “You’ve stitched me up again, haven’t you?”
- “I’m an intellectual, Del – I’ve got a diploma in computer studies.”
- “This is going to end in disaster.”
- “You plonker, Del.”
- “Do you know what I think? I think you’re a 24-carat plonker!”
- “I’ve had enough of your dodgy deals.”
- “It’s not funny, Del!”
Grandad’s Old-School Wisdom
- “During the war…”
- “Back in my day, things were different.”
- “It’ll never work, Del Boy.”
- “You don’t want to listen to me, but I know what I’m talking about.”
- “Some people never learn, do they?”
- “You’ll end up in trouble, mark my words.”
- “I don’t trust those microwaves – they give you cancer.”
- “That’s the trouble with your generation, no patience.”
- “I told you so.”
- “What do you want me to do, Del?”
Uncle Albert’s Famous Sayings
- “During the war…” (always a classic!)
- “I was in the Navy, you know.”
- “We were attacked by a German U-boat once.”
- “Don’t mock the Navy, Rodney.”
- “You wouldn’t survive one day at sea.”
- “That reminds me of when I was stationed in the Med.”
- “I know a thing or two about discipline.”
- “I could navigate blindfolded.”
- “You never listen, do you?”
- “There’s no loyalty these days.”
Trigger’s Hilarious One-Liners
- “Alright, Dave?” (to Rodney, always calling him Dave)
- “I’ve had this broom for 20 years. It’s had 17 new heads and 14 new handles, but it’s the same broom.”
- “You don’t mind if I call you Dave, do you?”
- “Nice one, Dave.”
- “I was at school with you, Dave.”
- “Don’t worry, Del, I’ll give you a hand.”
- “I don’t get it.”
- “What’s the problem, Dave?”
- “That’s funny, that is.”
- “I don’t see what the fuss is about.”
Boycie’s Classic Lines
- [Smug laugh] “Marlene!”
- “Del Boy, you wouldn’t know a good deal if it slapped you in the face.”
- “This is a serious business venture.”
- “I’ve got class, unlike some people.”
- “Don’t mock me, Trotter.”
- “Marlene! Where’s my dinner?”
- “You’ll never have what I’ve got, Del.”
- “I’m a man of sophistication.”
- “That’s typical Trotter behaviour.”
- “You’ll always be a market trader, Del Boy.”
- Cassandra: “Rodney, sometimes I wonder what I’ve married.”
- Raquel: “Del, not everything is about making money.”
- Mickey Pearce: “Rodney, I’ll look after the business while you’re away.”
- Sid: “You want a bacon sandwich or not?”
- Denzil: “Del, you always get me into trouble.”
- Mike: “You still owe me for that round, Del.”
- Damien: “My dad’s Del Boy – he’s gonna be rich!”
- Marlene: “Boycie, stop showing off.”
- Sid: “Don’t start trouble in my café.”
- Cassandra: “Rodney, don’t let Del lead you astray.”
Only Fools and Horses is part of British culture and these quotes are a reminder of why Only Fools and Horses will always be a classic.
