The BBC’s The Celebrity Traitors has delivered some of the funniest television moments in recent years. From Alan Carr’s nervous laughter and Jonathan Ross’s ruthless remarks to Jerry Hall’s wonderfully unpredictable comments, the celebrity edition has given viewers plenty of unforgettable one-liners.
Across the 2025 and 2026 series, celebrities have produced hilarious observations, unexpected confessions, dramatic accusations and legendary exit speeches.
Here are 50 of the best Celebrity Traitors quotes, including some of the funniest and most memorable moments from the castle.
The funniest Celebrity Traitors quotes from 2025
1. Alan Carr: “I feel sick.”
Alan’s immediate reaction to being selected as a Traitor perfectly captured his nervous excitement. He even admitted he had a sweating problem and couldn’t keep a secret.
Source: The Guardian, 20 greatest Celebrity Traitors moments
2. Alan Carr: “Oh shit.”
Clare Balding’s reaction after accidentally sabotaging a mission was one of the unexpected highlights of the first series.
3. Alan Carr: “I feel awful.”
Alan’s guilt after murdering his close friend Paloma Faith in plain sight made for one of the show’s most memorable betrayals.
4. Alan Carr: “I’ve gone and murdered one of my best friends.”
The comedian’s confession after targeting Paloma was both hilarious and genuinely uncomfortable.
5. Jonathan Ross: “Toughen up.”
Jonathan’s response to Alan’s guilt demonstrated the ruthless side of the Traitors’ partnership.
6. Tom Daley: “Who uses the word flabbergasted anyway?”
Tom’s suspicion of Kate Garraway after her dramatic reaction to a murder became an iconic moment.
Source: The Standard, Celebrity Traitors funniest moments
7. Tom Daley: “Whoopsie daisy.”
Tom’s hilarious comparison of Kate’s vocabulary made the exchange even better.
8. Alan Carr: “Better vocabulary than you!”
Alan’s comeback to Tom Daley’s accusation was a perfect example of his quick wit.
9. Celia Imrie: “I just farted, Claudia.”
Celia’s completely unexpected confession during a mission became one of the most talked-about moments of the series.
10. Celia Imrie: “I always own up.”
Celia’s explanation following her accidental interruption made the moment even funnier.
11. Alan Carr: “I’m worse than Linda!”
Alan compared himself to the famously chaotic Traitor Linda, showing just how nervous he was about his new role.
Source: BBC News, Celebrity Traitors first episode
12. Alan Carr: “God, you’re looking beautiful today.”
Alan’s sudden compliment to Clare Balding during a tense moment was a wonderfully suspicious distraction.
13. Stephen Fry: “Traitors stay behind please!”
Stephen’s playful announcement after the round table was a brilliant joke at the expense of the game’s secretive nature.
14. Jonathan Ross: “See you in the turret!”
Jonathan’s knowing remark captured the mischievous atmosphere among the Traitors.
15. Alan Carr: “Two-faced!”
Alan’s description of celebrities was another memorable early-series joke.
16. Joe Marler: “My heart is broken.”
Joe’s emotional reaction to Celia Imrie’s departure showed just how attached the contestants had become to one another.
Source: BBC News, Celebrity Traitors: Heartbreak and headless dummies
17. Joe Marler: “I’m not having it any more.”
Joe’s frustration after another beloved contestant was eliminated was a standout emotional moment.
18. Ed Gamble: “Farting is such sweet sorrow.”
A brilliant Shakespeare-inspired joke following Celia Imrie’s memorable accident.
19. Joe Marler: “Sorry traitors, I’m coming for you.”
Joe’s declaration showed how determined he was to expose the people secretly working against the Faithful.
20. Joe Marler: “My darling Celia is gone.”
One of the most heartfelt reactions to a departure from the castle.
21. Alan Carr: “It’s well wobbly.”
Alan’s reaction to crossing the dangerous wooden bridge was classic Celebrity Traitors comedy.
Source: The Irish Times, 20 greatest Celebrity Traitors moments
22. Alan Carr: “Stop it now!”
His increasingly panicked reaction while crossing the bridge was hilarious.
23. Alan Carr: “I feel like a winner and a eunuch.”
Alan’s unforgettable comment after completing the bridge challenge was one of the funniest lines of the series.
24. Joe Marler: “Most ridiculous bow-out ever.”
Joe’s reaction to Jonathan Ross’s dramatic departure summed up the absurdity of the moment.
25. Jonathan Ross: “Completely faithful … to the traitors!”
Jonathan’s final speech after being exposed as a Traitor was one of the most memorable exits in the show’s history.
The best Celebrity Traitors quotes from 2026
26. Claudia Winkleman: “That was quite the nap.”
Claudia’s unusual entrance from a coffin set the tone for the second celebrity series.
Source: The Guardian, Top 10 Celebrity Traitors moments
27. Ross Kemp: “Get in there!”
Ross’s enthusiastic celebration after catching a Traitor became one of his signature moments.
28. Amol Rajan: “Sniffs out traitors for a living.”
Amol’s confident description of himself as a Traitor hunter made his early exit particularly ironic.
29. Jerry Hall: “Smooth like butter.”
Jerry’s wonderfully unusual description of James Blunt was one of the season’s most memorable compliments.
30. King Kenny: “The faithful are doomed.”
Kenny’s reaction after becoming a Traitor showed just how much he embraced his new role.
31. Ross Kemp: “My guard is very much up.”
Ross’s paranoia became a running joke as he suspected almost everyone around him.
Source: The Independent, Ross Kemp’s best Celebrity Traitors moments
32. Ross Kemp: “Anybody touching me.”
Even innocent physical contact became suspicious to Ross as he tried to avoid being murdered.
33. Ross Kemp: “Offering me a drink.”
Ross’s list of potential warning signs showed just how seriously he was taking the game.
34. Ross Kemp: “That could be me gone.”
His constant fear of being murdered in plain sight became one of the funniest parts of his appearance.
35. Ross Kemp: “I love smashing doors down.”
Ross’s enthusiasm during the physical missions gave viewers another side of his personality.
36. Joanne McNally: “I’m a single woman.”
Joanne’s explanation of why she would make an excellent Traitor was a brilliant piece of self-deprecating comedy.
Source: The Irish Times, Joanne McNally’s 15 best lines
37. Joanne McNally: “Enjoyed nature and glassblowing.”
Joanne’s hilarious example of the things she had lied about on dating apps was an instant highlight.
38. Joanne McNally: “Performative stupidity.”
Joanne’s self-described approach to the game perfectly explained her unusual strategy.
39. Joanne McNally: “Follow that man into a bubbling volcano.”
Her description of her admiration for Michael Sheen was wonderfully dramatic.
40. Joanne McNally: “Accusing my cats of crimes.”
Joanne joked about how the paranoia from the castle might follow her home.
41. Sebastian Croft: “I began this game as a faithful.”
Sebastian’s emotional declaration at the final firepit marked the end of an extraordinary journey.
Source: ITV News, Celebrity Traitors winners
42. Romesh Ranganathan: “I’m ending this game as a faithful.”
Romesh repeated the declaration as he and Sebastian celebrated their victory.
43. Romesh Ranganathan: “Oh my God.”
The reaction from the winning pair captured the excitement of their unexpected victory.
44. Sebastian Croft: “Best day of my life.”
Sebastian’s emotional reaction after winning the competition was a fitting end to the series.
45. James Blunt: “Entirely wrong.”
James’s response to Romesh’s accusation during the final stages of the competition was another memorable exchange.
46. Richard E Grant: “I am a Traitor, I am Spartacus.”
Richard’s attempt to turn his accidental confession into a joke became one of the most spectacular early mistakes of the series.
Source: BBC, departing contestants speak about their experience
47. Richard E Grant: “Completely catastrophically idiotic.”
Richard’s own assessment of his decision to reveal his secret role was brutally honest.
48. Myha’la: “I want there to be carnage.”
Myha’la admitted she would rather see chaos unfold than simply support the remaining Faithful.
49. Bella Ramsey: “I am forever Faithful.”
Bella’s declaration reflected how much she enjoyed playing the game as a Faithful.
50. Richard E Grant: “The strategy of no strategy.”
Richard’s retrospective description of his approach to the game perfectly captured his chaotic experience as a Traitor.
Which Celebrity Traitors quote is the best?
The best quotes are not necessarily the most dramatic. Often, the funniest moments happen when contestants forget the cameras are watching or become so caught up in the game that their real personalities shine through.
