Humour has a way of bringing people together, making tough days a little brighter, and reminding us not to take life too seriously.
- “I can resist everything except temptation.” – Oscar Wilde
- “Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey
- “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Anonymous
- “I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.” – Steven Wright
- “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin
- “I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.”
- “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.” – Earl Wilson
- “The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” – Al McGuire
- “I am not lazy. I am on energy-saving mode.”
- “A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.” – Steven Wright
- “Why do they allow ‘silent’ and ‘listen’ to be spelled with the same letters? It’s suspicious.”
- “I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones… that’s why it’s called a ‘cell’ phone.”
- “Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.”
- “Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.”
- “I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” – Chandler Bing (Friends)
- “Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet. No one really knows how.”
- “My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry.”
- “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
- “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” – Bob Hope
- “The best part of going to work is coming back home.”
- “I follow a balanced diet — a cupcake in each hand.”
- “I tried yoga once, but the stress of not being flexible enough gave me anxiety.”
- “If we are what we eat, then I’m fast, cheap, and easy.”
- “The only running I do is out of money.”
- “Salad is what food eats.” – Craig Ferguson
- “I’m not weird, I’m a limited edition.”
- “Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands.”
(This joke never gets old — just like Peter Pan.) - “The early bird can have the worm. I’ll sleep in and have pancakes.”
- “Never trust an atom. They make up everything.”
- “I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me beach ads.”
- “To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.”
Humor is the ultimate icebreaker and a great coping mechanism. These quotes remind you to laugh especially at yourself. Because life’s too short to be serious all the time.
